“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” —Malcolm S. Forbes
Confidence is one of the most underrated but essential qualities we can pursue and grow. Think about how important confidence is—it shapes how we see ourselves, how we interact with the world, and how we make decisions.
Even more, when confidence is lacking, we become susceptible to the pressures of culture, the opinions of others, and the endless pursuit of external approval.Without confidence, we drift. We make choices based on what we think will earn us acceptance rather than what aligns with our values. We chase trends, accumulate possessions, and measure our worth by how we stack up against others.
But confidence changes everything. It helps us recenter our lives, reject cultural trends, and live with greater purpose and intention.
If you’ve ever felt held back by self-doubt or the need to impress others, you’re not alone. But there is good news you need to hear: confidence isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you can build.
Confidence isn’t something you either have or you don’t. There are steps all of us can take to grow it. And the journey to greater confidence begins with a decision to pursue it.
Here are nine practical ways to build confidence and live a more intentional life:
1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparison is the thief of joy—and confidence. When we compare ourselves to others, we inevitably focus on our known shortcomings while magnifying their imagined strengths. This perspective always leaves us feeling inadequate and stuck.
Instead of comparing, remind yourself that everyone’s journey is unique—including your own. You are not meant to live someone else’s life and you are not meant to measure your success by comparing it with theirs. Comparing yourself to someone else is always a losing battle. Instead, compare yourself to who you were yesterday and all the ways you are working to become better.
Your value isn’t determined by how you measure up to others anyway. Your value is measured by your unique gifts and passions and how you bring them into the world.
2. Celebrate Your Uniqueness
You are one of a kind. Your talents, experiences, and perspective are unlike anyone else’s. Yet, too often, we downplay what makes us unique in an effort to fit in or be accepted.
True confidence comes from embracing who you are, not who you think you should be. Celebrate your individuality. Lean into your strengths. And remember, the world doesn’t need another copy—it needs the authentic, unfiltered version of you.
3. Focus on the Positives
It’s easy to dwell on our flaws and failures, but doing so only erodes our confidence. Instead, shift your focus to the positive aspects of your life. What are you good at? What do others appreciate about you? What progress have you made, no matter how small?
This doesn’t come naturally. But by intentionally focusing on your positives, you’ll begin to see yourself in a new light—one that fosters confidence and self-assurance.
4. See Failure as a Learning Opportunity
Failure is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to define you. Confident people view failure as a stepping stone, not a stumbling block. They learn from their mistakes, adjust their approach, and try again.
Jalen Hurts, last night’s Super Bowl-winning Quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles, said it this way, “No losses, only lessons.” And I think that is the correct approach to life if we want to grow in confidence. A failure is only a setback if we don’t learn and grow from it.
When you reframe failure as a learning opportunity, it loses its power to discourage you. Even better, it becomes a tool for growth and a source of resilience.
5. Help Someone Else
One of the quickest ways to build confidence is to help someone else. When we serve others, we’re reminded of our value and the impact we can have. Whether it’s volunteering, mentoring, or simply lending a listening ear, selflessly giving yourself to others reminds us that we always have something meaningful to offer.
I also believe confidence grows when we see ourselves as contributors, not just as consumers. So look for ways to give back—you might be surprised at how much it changes you.
6. Take the First Step Toward a Goal
Confidence isn’t just a feeling; it’s a result of action. When we take steps toward our goals, no matter how small, we prove to ourselves that we’re capable of growth and change.
What’s one goal you’ve been putting off? Write the first page, run the first mile, or go meet the first person. Momentum builds confidence, and every step forward reinforces your belief in yourself.
7. Accept Your Weaknesses
Confidence doesn’t mean being perfect—it means being comfortable with being human, flaws and all. When we accept our weaknesses, we free ourselves from the pressure to have it all together. I’m not contending that we don’t work to correct our weaknesses, I am contending that we get okay admitting that we have them.
This acceptance also opens the door to collaboration. None of us are good at everything, and that’s okay. And confidence comes from knowing your strengths while leaning on others to fill in the gaps.
8. Be Known and Loved
There’s something profoundly confidence-building about being truly known and deeply loved. When we allow others to see us—our strengths, our struggles, our imperfections—and they love us anyway, it changes how we see ourselves. This is what makes a healthy marriage such a powerful relationship.
Invest in relationships where you can be authentic and vulnerable and accepted. These connections remind us that we are worthy of love and belonging, just as we are.
9. Reject the Need to Impress
Confidence allows us to let go of the need to impress others. When we’re secure in who we are, we no longer feel the pressure to keep up with the latest trends or accumulate possessions to prove our worth.
This shift frees us to live more intentionally. Instead of chasing the pleasing of people, we can focus on what truly matters: relationships, experiences, and the pursuit of our passions.
Building confidence isn’t about becoming someone you’re not—it’s about embracing who you already are. And that is a powerful reality because all of it can do that today. Self-confidence is about rejecting the lies of culture convincing you that you need to be someone different—and choosing to live a life aligned with your values and purpose instead.
So take the first step today. Celebrate your uniqueness, focus on the positives, and invest in what truly matters. Because confidence is the key to living an intentional life.
This post really resonated with me! Building self-confidence is such a crucial part of living intentionally. I loved the practical tips you shared, especially the idea of setting small, achievable goals. It’s inspiring to see how little steps can lead to big changes. Thank you for the encouragement!
Whao, this article blew my mind, thanks Joshua for this , it’s satisfying
Joshua I have been following your blogs and weekly emails for
some time now. I really don’t know how to express my gratitude for your insightful and thought provoking writings. This week in particular resonated with me as I am
beginning to embark on a life change and move. The fear and anxiety that crept in were squashed after I read today’s message and it totally resonated with my soul today. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!???? ????
As always Joshua thank you. Just what I needed to read this morning.
Sure!! I must say this is one of the most and beautiful articles I have read from you. Sir, I have a feeling you write things right from your heart. Keep it up!
Having grown up without my biological parents, I developed lack of self worth inside me. I had feelings of insecurity to the extent that; in my formative year I read lots and lots of stuff to do with self and life mastery and I continue to do it to this day.
Am technically a giver. I help lots of people in any way I can. I do it intentional and it gives me a semblance of inner peace, etc. I real know the secret of living is giving; and giving with one heart.
I thank you.
The article applies to so much more than just becomingminimalist. As an ‘old’ lady who was diagnosed late in life with ADD/ADHD it is like a breath of fresh air. Every listed item was so accurate in dealing with a situation that few people are knowledgeable of or even understand. I have archived this article and plan to read it whenever I need a positive mental boost. Thank you.
Love this article! I’m going to write each step down to put in my refrigerator so I see it each day under a magnet I bought of the Grand Canyon at 17! Now 60! Plan to go see it again now that I live here in Arizona! ????????
I would add “Achievement” (after that first step toward a goal). Much of my confidence was built on attaining skills and abilities in pursuit of a goal. The hard knocks and sharp edges of life that we navigate towards achievement shape our abilities, toughness, and confidence. Sometimes, along the way, we get knocked down. But by getting back up and soldiering on, we learn persistence, which is another ingredient in our confidence recipe.
As I turn 75 today I needed and loved this article. This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you so much for it. Today I start accepting myself for who I am.
Wonderful article and all valid but I especially appreciate number 7. As a now 60 year old, this was the hardest one for me. Knowing my flaws and weaknesses was always there, but admitting them to others and truly accepting them was harder. Something you consider a flaw may not be something you are able to work on and that one is tough. But once you get there (as you say, realizing your journey is unique and it makes you who you are), the freedom in accepting this is life changing! Thank you Joshua for always inspiring and encouraging us to lead an intentional and fulfilling life.
We have a saying about “falling behind” in our culture. You are just exactly where you are supposed to be. This gives me my confidence to do better. Felt short on self esteem for years and rushed to get to finished line first. It is now I know is just not worth Ed . Accepting and love how unique I am in my own away gives me back my confidence to be the best to my children.
Thank you Joshua, great article. Learning from life’s mistakes is key and the comparison tips as well. I think I have always desired to be minimalist. I was once for a short time and then I got married. Sixteen years later (this year) I descovered your videos and blog. So thank you for showing me how to start minimalizing again. My husband is helping however it is more baby steps for him, but that’s ok. Minimalizing is helping my confidence, doing what I believe in. So appreciative for all of your articles no matter what the subject. Take care.
Thank you! Very useful!
Hi,
Great tips to be confident. As we know confidence is essential in life. We need confidence for success.
This article is full of knowledge and tips to build self confidence.
Thanks for sharing knowledge.
I have great confidence. The thing that I like is becoming a minimalist appeals to me.
Love the blog and the quote – reminds me of the saying ‘whether you believe you can or can’t, you will be right!’
Dear Joshua, I enjoy this article and often re-read it. It is what Flylady.net Marla Cilley often shares with her readers when it comes to getting rid of those clutter and chaos: learning how to F.L.Y
Everything you write has always ministered to my soul. There isn’t anything, thus far, that you have written and I’ve read that I don’t love, appreciate and have walked away feeling empowered, enlightened, had a weight lifted off my shoulders, and left me coming back to read more.
I think there are some helpful tips on that post. the one that I liked most is : “Stop comparing yourself.”
comparing ourself is the number one factor in developing low self-esteem and inferiority
Thank you. “Celebrate your uniqueness” is an important reminder for me.