“Buying stuff won’t make you happy” is a phrase often repeated in our culture. And yet, it would appear from the statistics that we don’t really believe it.
Most of us live in a way that absolutely appears to chase happiness through the things we buy.
So I thought it might be helpful to dive deeper into the phrase. Not for the sake of just being another person to repeat it, but to explain exactly why it’s true.
Buying stuff won’t make you happy.
And here’s why:
1. Possessions always fade.
The joy we feel from a new purchase is always temporary. A fresh pair of shoes, a new phone, a new piece of furniture—even a new car or dream home—feel exciting for a moment, but that feeling fades quickly as the purchase begins to fade or spoil.
No matter how shiny or cutting-edge something may be, and no matter how expensive or luxurious it is, everything we buy begins to age the moment we bring it home.
2. There is always something newer.
Just when we think we’ve finally caught up, something new comes along—another upgrade, another model, another trend. From clothes and cars to kitchen gadgets and technology, our materialism keeps changing (on purpose). And so the cycle begins again.
We convince ourselves that happiness is just one more purchase away—that we’ll finally be caught up with everyone else. But the finish line always moves.
3. Possessions take more than they give.
Everything we own requires some of our life in return. And not just our time, energy, money, and focus when we buy it. But also, everything we bring into our homes must be cleaned, organized, maintained, managed, and eventually removed.
Slowly and subtly, the things we own begin to own us. The purchases we once thought would make us happy slowly begin to drain our lives instead. Possessions often take more than they give.
As Henry David Thoreau once put it, “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” Possessions often cost too much.
4. Possessions add worry onto our lives.
Every physical item we bring into our lives represents one more thing that can be broken, scratched, or stolen. This is another reason buying stuff won’t make us happy. Every increased possession takes up physical space in our home and mental space in our mind.
5. Contentment can’t be found at the store.
One of the most essential keys to finding happiness is in the discovery of contentment. Think of it this way: It is very difficult to live a happy life if we constantly believe there is a better life out there.
But that contentment can never be found in our purchases. If more stuff made us happy, we’d be the happiest generation in history. But our overflowing closets and garages tell a different story. The truth is, no matter how much we own, it never feels like enough.
6. There will always be someone with more.
Chasing happiness through possessions is a race that can’t be won. The search for happiness in possessions is always short-lived because it is based on faulty reasoning that buckles under its own weight. If happiness is found in buying material things and more stuff, those with more will always be happier. But we know that is not true. The game can never be won playing it that way.
7. Experiences and Generosity make us happier.
Study after study confirms it. Experiences—especially those shared with others—bring more lasting joy than things ever could. And the benefits of being generous with our money are well-documented. We remember adventures, not accessories. We remember what we give, not what we accumulate. We find happiness in relationships, not receipts.
So where does that leave us?
It leaves us with an important invitation—not to want less, but to want better.
Where will happiness actually be found?
Faith. Love. Purpose. Generosity. Growth. Contribution. These are the pursuits that bring lasting fulfillment and these are the investments that always pay off in the long run.
But the more life we waste chasing possessions, the less life we have left over to pursue happiness in the places we can actually find it.
In other words, it’s not just that buying stuff won’t make us happy. It’s that buying stuff we don’t need is actually keeping us from happiness!
We would be wise to stop chasing what doesn’t bring happiness—and start making room for what does.
Let’s live for something better—starting today.
I spend lots of money buying plants for my native pollinator gardens. As the plants grow and the pollinators, birds and other wildlife in my yard increase, so does my happiness with my plants. I don’t really consider plants as possessions, though. Over recent years I have downsized considerably and feel that getting rid of unneeded possessions has provided me with more time and money to put toward my plants
Joshua,
Thank you for the article. I am an avid follower of your emails. I’m hoping you’ll share your thoughts on another perspective. Sometimes the Acquisition of things is a precursor to very meaningful experiences. I can remember as a child the wonderful bonding experiences of going on ‘four wheeling’ adventures with my father and sometimes groups. We would be out in nature camping, cooking out, taking in magnificent views, having campfire talks, whittling manzanita slingshots and spending quality family time together. Those adventures were preceded by the purchase of an old jeep and hours in the garage fixing it up in preparation for the deep woods experiences. We purchased specialty parts and sometimes tools. While I truly abhor consumerism, I think being intentional on how we spend our funds, which we certainly have traded part of our life for, is part of the balance we need in being minimalists.
For balance, I’ll off these counter points, without expanding on them here:
1. Some possessions serve us for a good long time.
2. New is a trend, new to me can be an experience itself.
3. Chosen carefully, possessions can give far more than they take.
4. Some possessions can take worry out of our lives.
5. Contentment can sometimes be facilitated through items bought at a store.
6. There really isn’t a counter point here. The need to have the ‘most’ is impossible to fill.
7. Without the basic needs of ourselves and our loved ones filled, generosity can be depressing. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs teaches is this. I believe this is why Americans are among the most generous people in the world. If we can achieve the basic needs of others in the world being filled, I believe we could have a much more generous world.
Very respectfully and with much gratitude for your wisdom – BC
Buying stuff related to a hobby or project can make you feel like you’re accomplishing something. A new pick for the guitar you don’t play very often, a new knitting needle…You buy an accrutement instead of doing.
My counterpoint is that better tools make for a better experience. Ever try to knit with a subpar needle that breaks? Ever try to open a can with a defective cheapo can opener? If you’re going to invest your TIME, also invest your MONEY in the right and best tool for the activity.
Indeed, by buying fewer tools you can purchase better ones.
So playing Devil’s Advocate, I don’t think it’s fair to unilaterally say “stuff doesn’t make you happy.”
I believe it would be more accurate to say “Un-curated stuff doesn’t make you happy. I have enough items in my home that it would undoubtedly mean I could never be called minimalist. Yet each one brings a smile to my face whenever I look at them – which for most items, is every day.
It’s not related to the cost either. A metal sculpture (probably mass produced at one time) that I purchased years ago for about $25 gives me just as much pleasure as a bronze that cost many, many times that amount. The teacup I inherited from my auntie (and see every morning when I’m drinking coffee and reading the paper or a book) makes me smile just as much as the exquisite Satsuma vase I discovered in a tiny antique store that was going out of business.
That said, I am starting to thin my possessions. Perhaps I’m being prompted by the year I’ve just spent clearing my brother’s 6,000-square-foot house of so much stuff it makes my skin crawl. But I will always believe items you simply consider beautiful have a purpose in our heart and homes.
Susan, cleaning out a relatives home (in my case 3 of them) is a total mind changer. It changed my feelings about my things so much I started purging and never looked back. I continue to read Joshua’s posting to keep myself on track.
Agree. I was a practicing minimalist for 8 years when my Mom died in 2020. I was alone in emptying her apartment, my sisters not wanting to help me. When I saw the condition of her home, I wept. I stood there not knowing what to do or where to begin but when I got home, I went through EVERYTHING AGAIN. I will NOT let stuff rule my life as it had my mother and now my aunt.
One thing I’ve noticed about myself, is it’s easier for me to shop and buy things when I am struggling emotionally. This is something I’m working on, so I don’t continue doing this, as I know it’s not healthy.
This is very thought provoking. And difficult for those of us with a collector mentality.
As I get older I understand the necessity of letting some things go, and it makes me happy to give things away.
While I will never be a minimalist (by choice) I can lessen the burden on my children by giving my beautiful things new homes.
This is a little off topic but I am much less sympathetic to Henry David Thoreau since I read that he still sent his laundry home to Mom and if the community ladies had not made him casseroles he probably would have starved to death…
Of overriding importance to Thoreau was his refusal to sanction the evil institution of slavery, and thus his violation of the Fugitive Slave Laws and his participation in the Underground Railway to freedom for escaped slaves.
You forgot to note he answered a moral and righteous calling his mother, no doubt, was extremely proud of as well as the other community ladies who saw to it his belly was full and his knickers clean.
So out of context and yes, off topic.
The pursuit of stuff IS a mental health issue.
I found you 12 years ago and three years in practicing minimalism, my mental health resolved. I was in control of my life and thoughts and in return, it gave me the fortitude to politely ignore the comments people would express negatively about MY choices. When those comments became vitriol, decisions about relationships had to be made. A LOT of people viewed my minimalism VERY negatively and the expressions of my personal decisions became unfounded attacks on my reputation. That’s when I knew I had broken free and was living, to quote Dave Ramsey, “Like no one else.”
Thank you for all you do and all the years of non-judgmental education on this topic.
My sense is that we’ve lost our way, and the evidence abounds. Society is coarser. Road rage, narcissism, partisan politics, and screen addiction all reflect souls adrift. We pile on more, and yet the hole inside us cannot be filled. More stuff, less happiness. I sometimes think of the Amish. They seem happier. They resist technology that threatens their families, community, and faith. As a result, their kids are well-adjusted, they have less divorce and hardly any addiction. Technologists and smug hipsters might call the Amish Luddites, but they seem to be doing better than our consumption drunk society.
Correct. I live amongst the Mennonites of Ontario, Canada. Their community and family structure is to be celebrated.
I think it should be acknowledged that stuff DOES make you happy… but only leading up to the purchase, thinking about the stuff, fantasizing about the life it will provide you in the future and the dopamine hits of having the desire for the stuff. Then it loses its magical quality once it’s yours and a new desire sets in.
Friendship, purpose, faith, connection, generosity- these things do provide happiness but they take so much more effort than clicking Buy on Amazon.
Thanks for this Trish. I believe the pursuit of those other endeavors provides more happiness than the pursuit of stuff as well. Both before and after their acquisition.
This article is a great way to start a new week. It pertains to each and every one of us and I hope I remember that everything I bring into my home eventually takes away from my pleasure, rather than adding to it. Thank you!